For the last few weeks, I’ve been living in a fog. Like someone who has gone through a traumatic event, I spent most of days in bed and rarely changed out of sweatpants. Any small reminder could bring me to tears and almost every activity took a great deal of effort.
Yesterday, the sun shine for the first time in weeks. Not only did the warm rays brighten the day, something sparkled inside of me.
Maybe it’s the long talks I’ve had with friends or the amount of time I’ve spent with family. Maybe it’s a healthier diet and daily runs. Maybe it’s my pending road trip to SXSW with my dear friend Lucy and the plans to meet up with Peace Corps friends. Maybe it’s that I now see my options for a life beyond Niger. Or maybe it’s the combination of all those things, but I feel this deep joy that I haven’t in a long time.
Pictures and phone calls from Niger and African-themed music no longer sting my heart, but make me smile. My time in Niger is no longer this thing that was ripped from me, but something I treasure and feel absolutely blessed to have experienced.
I wake up and go to bed smiling. I feel the same happiness I had when I was in Niger, living a life I loved. There are still many unknowns, but I know I’ll figure out it eventually. For now, I am spending as much time with friends and family and enjoying the transtition. Right now, my life is a mess but it is so very good.