Yeah, I know, I’ve blogged a lot today. Well, I guess it was a bloggy day.
A few times in the two or three years, someone has looked me in the eye and said “I am not sorry.” They knew that their actions hurt me, but my emotions were overridden. They did or said what they had to do and it’s my own fault if I it seared my sensitive feelings.
I made a promise to myself that I would never be like that, I would never disregard someone else’s feelings for my own satisfaction or to avoid my wrongdoing. I don’t always keep that promise and sometimes I am hurtful. I am not always a good person.
I guess this is on my mind because I am leaving soon and it’s the bruised feelings that often define a relationship. Sometimes it really bothers me the friendships that have died over the years and I often ridicule myself for why they did go astray. It’s not healthy, but I can’t break the habit.
I want to be a good person but I fail most of the time. I won’t stop trying, though. At the end of my life, all I want and dream about is one person saying “She was a good person.”