I’ve been in Africa for nearly 17 months and it is frighteningly apparent that I’ve lost my mind.
There are days I go about these crazy activities and I have to step back to realize that my sanity left. It probably flew back to America, or better some place warm and tropical, long ago.
Some brilliant person created one of those meme Tumblr blogs with pictures and .gifs from movies and TV depicting sad-yet-funny accurate truths of life as a Peace Corps Volunteer. One of my favorites has the title of “When I am bored of all the music in my iTunes” and Michael Cera, looking extra emo, saying, “I hate everything.” Or Tina Fey, throwing up her arms, “I lie awake wondering what fresh hell tomorrow bring.” There is another, I think a clip from early “Boy Meets World,” with a boy saying, “The world is weird and now so am I.”
Well, the world is weird and now so am I.
Here, I offer, is proof that I no longer posses sanity:
– At night, when I can’t sleep, I talk to myself. This isn’t that weird because I have always done it, just ask Christopher and Jason who screamed me at through the wall to shut up while we were growing up. But now I like to repeat the opening introductions to my favorite NPR shows. “From WEBZ in Chicago and NPR, it’s Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me, the news quiz show. I am Carl Castle. Live from the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, here is Peter Sagell. Or: “From WEBZ in Chicago and NPR, it’s This American Life. I’m Ira Glass. Each week we bring you a theme and a variety of stories based on that theme. This week’s theme …” No, I didn’t listen to those just now to copy them. That is from memory.
– It doesn’t matter if it has been five seconds or five minutes. If there is something on the ground that I want to eat, I will eat it.
– While thinking about my average number of baths per week, I thought, “That is pretty good.” Then I remembered that most people bath daily.
– I refuse to think of life without my pii bucket.
– I used to think Channing Tatum was a tool. Now I watch his movies on purpose. I also can’t get enough of Zac Effron.
– Jason Segel and Aziz Ansari have shown up in my dreams more times than I care to admit. Also, I once had an intense dream that Justin Timberlake re-tweeted me.
– I don’t even notice when I talk in a Muppet voice anymore. It just comes natural.
– I willingly trained for an ultra marathon. An ultra marathon.
– Some days I walk around the village singing at the top of my lungs. Sometimes with my iPod, sometimes not. Yes, there are other people and yes they can hear me but they don’t mind.
– I consider not having diarrhea to be “really healthy.”
– Malls, nice cars and working technology freak me out.
– Everything can be cleaned. I throw out nothing, no matter what has touched it.
– Stepping in animal feces no longer grosses me out.
– A good chunk of my day is spent waiting for cows.
– I believe that water only comes from buckets. It does not come from a silver apparatus attached to your bathroom or kitchen counter.
I still want you people to like me when I get home so I will stop there. The world is weird and now so am I.