Caitlin, two days before her COS, described it most accurately: “I am feeling everything.”
Sipping on tea, I sit on my porch and listen to the leftover music of last night’s party from a shop nearby. The sheep mind their own business as they wait to be taken to the fields and, not quite 8, the village is already up as people greet neighbors and fetch water.
It could be any Sunday but it’s not. As it is said – all my bags are packed, I am ready to go.
In just a few hours, I will leave the village, maybe not forever but for now. This is the beginning of the end of a journey that was five years in the making. It doesn’t feel that way, though, instead like I am going on a trip and will be back in a few weeks to resume village life. The weight of this finale will likely come months later, when American life is strange and uncomfortable and I long for the view of the mountains and constant Basotho greetings.
To process this goodbye now would be to do degrade it. Instead, I let the emotions come without trying to analyze and treat them. One feeling, though, rises to the top and it shouldn’t be ignored.
This is my ending and I am proud. I am proud to have served the United States of America and the Kingdom of Lesotho. I am proud of the work I did, the success alongside the failures. I am proud of the person I have become.
If you can stand at the end of a life-changing experiencing feeling accomplished and satisfied, as I do now, then there is nothing else you can demand.
A note to readers: It is my intention to continue to blog upon my return to the United States to document my transition back to American life. At some point, the blog will take on a new focus and organization but it will remain the same for the time being. As I will be traveling for the next few weeks, I have queued a few posts to run in my absence. Thank you, my dear, readers for all of your love and support over the last two years. You encouragement has meant more than I have the words to describe. Thank you.