I came home to the U.S. believing my life would be perfect.
Long taxi rides, slow afternoons and sleepless nights were spent dreaming about this ideal life that would come to me because, well, I earned it. I had taken a great risk, veered from the path, and now all that I was owed would surely be delivered to me.
It’s a notion that I didn’t give up on months after coming home, living in D.C. Instead, I was still broke, lonely and doubting nearly every step up till that point.
Even though I feel more comfortable with my life in Chicago, I still dwell on the things I don’t have. It’s a sickness, really.
In one month from today I will turn 30. Never would I have dreamed that this is where my life would be at this age, but that’s a good thing. I liked being surprised and, although I wonder why certain things are still missing, I have heaps to be thankful for.
As I prepare for this next milestone in life, I want to be ready to enter it with a full and thankful heart. Therefore, it’s my intention to post a photo and a statement (maybe a story) of gratitude each day in the last month of my 20s. Some days it will be one thing, some days it will be more two things. Maybe even more. Regardless, I will be reminded of all the beauty and blessings in my life.
So, let’s begin.
I am thankful for Chicago.
All my life I’ve wanted to live in a big city, letting ever-glowing lights rock me to sleep. I’ve wanted to feel small in a giant place while knowing I belong. Chicago has given me that. This weekend, back in SD, I felt like the girl from the city, some times foolishly, some times proudly. It may not be home yet but it’s beginning to feel that way, which is enough for me.
I am thankful for my charm.
I am going to try to find one thing about myself each day to be thankful for because I could probably like myself more. I love these moments when I surprise myself in how funny and sweet I am. Tonight I was having dinner with an old acquaintance and I was compassionate and kind. It’s these times when I can sort of see why others may see in me. I like these moments.
That’s a good start for tonight. See you all tomorrow.